catching up with annie and tiki-tiki baby

last night i was able to meet up with annie, whom i haven't seen since we were on hot pursuit of her costume for her company christmas party. well, how could she ever say no to a free dinner??? hehehe. nah, i guess she loves me enough to ditch her gimmick. anyway, went to her fave resto here in makati and started to tell stories to each other like there is no tomorrow. i wont elaborate on her adventures and latest stories. (that's the job of her blog page). one of the highlights of the night (for me that is), when i finally told her this instance that i was able to talk to o. and i told her that her suspicions were true. o likes her. and i mean LIKE, more than friends like. this got into me. i realized how many cowards are there in the world. i am not surprised that men are just falling for my friend but to find another guy who just doesn't have the balls to ask her out and formally court her? gawd. o was practically moping over her because HE realized that he's in love with her all along and he just cant take it that annie was with gil now and they are crazy about each other!!! well duhh! you had your chance! grr! when she was single & waiting for you to come around. whatdidyoudo??? you were running around with the most pathetic girl I've seen and you were so busy helping out this charity case to notice my friend. now that she's with g & happily with him at that. You're trying to win her back now... hmm... tsk tsk! so sad. but you're way too late. angsarap talaga nila pag untugin dalawa ni t. SOS! serves you right!
i wish gil would stumble on annie's page and he would see how dang lucky/blessed he is. and he should be proposing marriage now!!!hehehe! i know how crazy in love this two are with each other, a & gil, if they were cartoons and you saw them together. little hearts would be circling them. hehehe. i swear! i'd look forward to the day they would finally get married.
on the lighter note, there's this guy at work that caught my attention. soo cute. boy-next-door type. crush material talaga! 2 words for you: tiki tiki baby sya! hehehe. and i could just break into a wide grin whenever he talks to me. (ei, send me more stuff to do for you. so id see you often! hehehe!)
will talk about him soon. but let me assure the concerned citizens that this is just a crush and nothing more. cause, he likes a he. (or so that's the rumor here) hehehe. :)

all the best for the coming year! later!

and it makes me happy...

to know thats its already christmas!

days went by real fast. attending one christmas party after another. getting all this neat stuff as gifts and counting down the days when i would be able to sleep and wake up late and not think about work. just a few days wherein i am not a graphic artist swamped with cannot be ignored job orders. for a few days i am just m's girlfriend, one of the h kids and i can lay back and relive my unemployed lifestyle. hehehehe.
eventhough i have work on the 24th, i decided to just suck it up and get it over with.

fast forward... im almost late for the noche buena. hmm. i made it just before my dad starts spewing fire. hahaha! im good. made it just in time.
it wouldve been great if my mom was there and my lolo. but the world is cruel and my mom and lolo is not around.
but, that's life. we have to make do with what we have for the moment and hope that next christmas they would be with us.

during this holiday season, there's a lot i should be thankful about. one, i have a job. two, i have great family and friends and three, my baby still loves me.

and heres a list that makes me happy. happy. happy.

10 things that bring me joy:
[01] mcb
[02] friends
[03] foot spa and newly pedicured toes
[04] caffeine fix and sugar dose with annie
[05] watches, shoes and clothes
[06] late night road trips and adventures and waking up late
[07] accapella music
[08] graphic novels, books and long walks sa mall (getting a good buy)
[09] long intimate conversations (na hindi bastos.hmm, puede rin bastos! hehehe!)
[10] movie marathons

for those people who knows me, they know that this list is missing a lot of stuff because it takes little things to make me smile. hehehe.
its kinda late but for filipinos christmas is a whole month celebration. hehehe.
to all the people i love & hate. wish you well. happy christmas!

my name is... PARANOID.

it will be christmas soon. i should be jumping with joy. anticipating some cash to find its way to me.
but no... i feel restless. i dont know who to talk to. i need someone who wouldnt be on my neck and assure me that all will be okay.
i know im just paranoid. but its just me.
all i want for christmas is for it to come.
ill be the happiest girl on the planet. im broke but im happy if it finally comes along.

reggae tinkerbelle. boys room. nightcap

i had my 3rd christmas party since i got out of school last night. and again, i felt i could come up with a gazillion things that i'd rather do that night, like watch house or get some quality zzz's. anyway, there is nothing i can do but attend. and my curiosity got to the best of me. i wanted to know the reason what's all the hype about the company christmas party. so.. i sucked up all my guts and decided to bear it (and also, its an excuse to get a new top and wear my new sandals ^_^'). so went there. spent about a couple of hours watching unfamiliar faces strutting around like they were hollywood celebs during the oscars. even saw tinkerbell. visualize (green gown. layered. floucy. very short (her tush is showing). and FISHNET STOCKINGS!!!) err. nightmare. nightmare. glad she didn't win the star of the night award. (pano naging reggae yun!!!)
finally, the show started, and the moment we've been waiting for finally arrived. Time to take a bite out of the feast I've been smelling for soo long (torture if you're hungry).
people came towards the buffet table like a tsunami racing to the shore. its freaky. and scary.

thankfully, i was able to get out of the tsunami people and got back to my seat in one piece.
there i was happy and contented with my plateful of scrumptious goods (?) and right before my very eyes. SHE said "e, painom ha." and reached for his soda and blatantly drank! whatwasthat?!
i wouldnt even do that to my closest guy-friend!!! goodness. Its so freakin' obvious. gawd. please. mag propose ka na sa kanya!!! so you'd know if you're basted or what. (more likely to be basted! nyahaha!) seriously, id want her to finally find a decent guy so she wouldnt hurt or break someone else's relationship.
right then i knew i should ditch this party. soon. Its pathetic. Its sick. i just cant take it anymore.
and finally, my rescue came. the weather is not cooperating. Its drizzling and it could spell disaster to my new sandals, but who cares, as long as im with him, im good. and i know i have to make up for my last boo-boo. and i intend to tell him about issues with her. and get it all over with.
after figuring out where to go, get some good eats, i told him (first, i made sure that he shouldnt start screaming at me again. hehehe.) that im worried about her and i think that she likes (as in like) him.
then, he assured me, no, he made an oath to me that he would NEVER get together with her. ever. for two reasons. one, there's me and two, there's his friend. whew. glad that went well. i was able to find peace again. sometimes it just feels good to be reassured.

and on the lighter side,
at the reggae party, the attendees are like 500++ so you can imagine how long the queue for the girls washroom. i know id take most of the night before my turn. so i decided to sneak into the boy's room and pee. hahahah! its hard not to laugh when you see the expression on the boys' faces when we stepped out of the room. hahhaha! great. ayus. im sure that boy would never forget me.


whenever i had an arguement with m, no matter how huge or small the reason is. i feel so lousy. i knew i was in BIG trouble when we argued last saturday. all is well now, i realized how much i love him and how i could never face life without him. (insert jian: MUST BE TRUE LOVE, PARE!!!!)
whats on my mind now is how this girl always finds a way to hang out with m, (pls dont give me that shit that she is HIS gf. i already know that). there is something about her. i just have to trust him and that our relationship could endure all this. i just hope that what i saw in her page doesnt mean anything.
as my dearest friend, tabs had said "take what is rightfully yours" you bet i will.
i know i love him. i trust him. i just dont trust her and the devil inside her.
thankfully i have tabs who i can trust and would talk some sense in me.(sis, i dont know what i'd do without you. i miss you. a lot)
r also helped. she diverts my attention to other things. she cracks me up. great to have her to bash others. hehehe. :)
anyway, last night felt senti and sent m the following sms:

dec 11
* i cant remeber what my life was before i met you. im still thankful you decided to give me a chance, when i dont deserve it. thank you for not giving up on me, on our relationship. i dont want to lose you... i know i made the right decision when i decided to be with you a year ago. i know you're the one i was waiting for.

* i will never be perfect. i will make mistakes. but i will love you. always. even when you decide that you dont love me anymore.

dec 12
* psst... i love you, baby
* i do love you and you mean a lot to me in so many ways. have i told you i miss you? no? i do. i miss you a lot. the way you smile at me and hold my hand and the way you say you love me.

there. i said it. and to some people who are so dear to me. some short messages. (hopefully, you would be able to read it)

* To Annie,
annie, you will always be one of my closest friend and i owe you a lot. i cant thank you enough for giving m to me i know that i sometimes complain and it seems that its not fair for m. im sorry. i hope you would be able to find it in your heart to forgive me. let me assure you that the last thing i want is to hurt him. i love him. very much. i just have to learn. thank you for everything.

* To Tabs,
i am so grateful to have a sister in you. i know i wouldnt be able to figure out and get out of some sticky stuff if it werent for you. please. please. dont be mad at m. i know he loves me too. just pray for us. i miss you so much. will see you soon.

* To Osang,
its a great big surprise to find a friend like you at work. you made everything bearable for me. thanks!!!

And lastly. id like to share this to piece that i got from a blackeyedpeas site:

I can`t imagine life without you by my side This is LOVE, babe, that I`m feeling And I`m hoping that you`re feeling the same way... Things tend to slip my mind Like how you like to wine and dine, baby, with romantic lights You mean a lot to me in so many ways... Have I told you I love you lately? Have I told you you still mean the world to me? Have I told you I love you I`ll be your wishing well tell me what you want Don`t think twice of our love I say these things because I love you And it`s hard to explain And I`m hoping that you`re feeling the same way You know that all of mine feelings are inside And verbally I tend to forget How much I L-O-V-E U...



this isnt what topic i had in mind when im deciding what i should write again in case id get a pocket of free time from work. but then, some things happened. hmm. some people happened and so i decided to write about this.
the heartthrob 101 is about how it was to work alongside a heartthrob. will explain in a while.
as ive said i've just started working again and now alongside with a boy.
he's great. funny and very nice. and very creative at that.
yun nga lang... HEARTTHROB sya sa department namin!!! i didnt know this until people started telling me to lay off him bacause i dont have a chance. say what??? like im looking! or any intentions to end up my relationship with m.
here's what i've learned thus far.

• can not talk to heartthrob. or expect to be ripped into shreds. (*learn sign language)
• heartthrob has a magic table wherein food would appear every single day.
• heartthrob can get away with "parinig" that he's hungry, thristy or needs a ride home and for sure he would have it in a jiffy.
• you will hear his name mentioned about 50x within a day in a top volume.
• its quite obvious that she's so head over heels with him. the way she looks at him, it could melt an iceberg or maybe strip his clothes off. hahha

well, its obvious that she loves him. nah. she worships him. i just hope she would propose to him to get it all over with. ahh. crap. poor her. poor him.
but, its great trying to get to her by trying to get heartthrob's attention and make him laugh. hehehe.
i love making her turn green. hahaha!
i hope she wouldnt notice or it will be me = unemployed again.

so IN LOVE!!!!

again, when i feel restless and down. a trip to the mall is a sure way to lift up my mood. (well, that and seeing m, duhh.) anyway, since almost everything seems to get to me, i decided to persuade r (persuade? no. invited. she gladly obliged ^_^') to go with me to the nearby mall to look at pretty clothes and pretty shoes and pretty boys! (oh. oh. shit. did i write that down) hehehe.
anyway, went around and around and just when we decided to call it a night, we dropped by on this one cute store that sells cute bags and even cuter shoes. and we both crouched down on this shelf, we both exclaimed "uyy. cute!!!" and pointed at the same pair of sandals! sheesh. we both have the same great taste. i knew i HAD to try it on. so i did. and yes, it's as if that sandals were made for me. it looked so dang good on my feet. i fell in love.
* this is one side of me that m doesnt know. i soo love shoes and the price tag is nothing but gibberish. hehehe.

longest yard

* this is supposed to be posted yesterday. But due to some circumstances. You're reading it today.

I woke up today (tho' it doesn't feel that I had enough sleep), as they say, with a vengeance. hehehe. nah. More like a gameplan. I plan to finish all the designs and my backlog so I wont wake up tomorrow worrying. okay. do all revisions and finally bid adieu to the showcards and the gaddangit souvenir program and take on new projects. okay. that sounds good. make all the revisions and get rid of this projects that doesn't seem to have any intentions of un-hounding me and lay back for a while. maybe get a good dinner. ayus. perfect.

perfect. that is the last adjective that will describe today. everything blew up in my face after lunch. there i was, cruising along, ideas keep running around my head. i knew what to do and how to take on some dumb logo. and hopefully i will never see it again. yes, that's right. i will never see some dumb logo because SHE decided to wreck my day. SHE could never stand seeing me happy. when i see her walking towards me and calls me by my nickname. i know im in trouble.
aww shit. i said to myself. now what? turned out she wanted me to design some float for a festival. huu. a what? okay. easy. just get over it. crap. crap. crap.
whizzing through it. (actually i had to scramble for time since the freaking illustrator file got corrupted). needless to say. i was able to pass it in time. so that someone who is born without any imagination could see how we plan to bag the winnings for the best float. ayan. okay na. now i can start on that logo. (i just had to say a little prayer to God that they would pick his design and not mine.)
well, in the dream world thats what i did. the design gods are out for lunch and decided to play a joke on me. i heard my boss summon E. (ayus, they picked his design. works for me) or so thats what i think. turned out they picked mine because they think it could actually win the grand prize!!! what!!! what drugs are you on???
i could feel the dread as if its alive grab me. panic began to sink in. oh God, what will i do? i dont know how to design a float? do i look like someone who can design it?! if there were a hole that suddenly appeared on the ground id be the first to jump in it.
everything was a blur after they told me they chose my design. all i can do is nod. and say yes.
but if you're inside my head. all you can hear is this. AYOKO NA!

okay. okay. i have to take it. clueless as i am on how to do it. i have to. or its my head.

Which Member of the Endless Are You?

I'm Dream!
Which Member of the Endless Are You?

i knew it. i knew it. i wish i could stay forever at his realm...

now i know i'd pick sleeping over eating. to stay in bed rather than do overtime.
id rather sleep and snuggle and dream.

my adopted kitten

my pet!

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